I Like You

I like you.

I enjoy spending time with you

Your smile brings me joy

Your laugh brings me laughter

And yet, I’m scared, terrified even

I rather spend time with you, than get much needed sleep

I can already feel your pull, my desire to put you before myself

I want to run away from this, from the possiblity of repeating past mistakes and so many wrong turns

I want to block your number and forget your name because if you bring me as much pain as he did, this will be a suicide mission

My heart cannot again survive broken promises, lies, misconceptions, and unrequited feelings

I don’t fall in love often, only once actually, but when I fall, I fall hard

And I can already feel the familiarity of the magnetic force of gravity

Every hair on my body is standing, I’m covered in pins and needles hoping you don’t hurt me

There are no guarantees, but I need guarantees

I’m about to run, but you text me something loving and personal

I’m about to block you but then you ask me to come over, and I can’t help myself

I’m about to say something, anything that will ruin everything, so you leave faster than expected, but then you smile, and when you smile, it brings me joy; then you laugh, and I laugh; then you pull me in, into the crook of your shoulder where I fit perfectly, and I’m stuck in your centripetal force

I can’t move, I can’t stop being happy

I’m terrified

I’m scared that your smile will soon stop bringing me joy; your laughter no longer contagious, but malicious

It will only be a matter of time until you no longer send texts, or you cancel all invites, and you start verbally attacking me, and I’m stuck all over again in the eye of the storm, except this time there is no rescue mission, no second life, that’s it. game over.

This is what I’m praying with all of my being is never bound to happen. But then again, I like you.