The world wind of this break-up has really proven to take its share of casualties: my heart, my strength, but most of all it has caused me to be more emotional than I knew that I was capable of. Prime advice that I received recently was that “you have to go through it to get through it.” I am not always patient, especially in regards to healing. In fight or flight responses, I am all flight in this regard. I tend to rush the healing process of any type of loss, and it always prolongs the inevitable grieving.
So throughout this six year tumultuous relationship and through all of our fallouts, I had never “gone through” the entire healing process, and here we are…or should I say here we are not. This relationship has officially ran its course, there is no more hope for our happily ever after, nor a future based on “the perfect timing.” This time, it ends. I heal….and I move on. I pick up the pieces of myself that I’ve allowed to break off and I rebuild myself. I build the person I am into the person I want to be, including many parts of the person I was, but whom I have lost.